"Are you sure about this?" Salome asked, draping her arms over Connor's shoulders and peeking to see what he was writing.

Connor finished the letter and folded it, sliding it into an envelope. "It was your idea." He inclined his head to brush his mouth against hers. "Having second thoughts about being alone with me?"

"Not the going away..." Salome nuzzled Connor's jaw. "That part I'm really looking forward to. I meant the not telling Andrew thing."

"I'm telling him." Connor waved the letter. "I'm just avoiding the whining and complaining of doing it in person."

"We're not doing anything wrong," Salome stressed, sliding into Connor's lap. "Considering hell is threatening to overtake the world, things have been really quiet. You told Mandy about it and she's perfectly fine with keeping evil at bay for three days. If things get really bad, we have our cellphones." She gave Connor a smile. "And it's not like we're going to Siberia. We're going five blocks away, even though I'm perfectly capable of teleporting both of us halfway around the world if I wanted to."

Connor furrowed his brow. "Sal..."

"I know, I know," Salome sighed. "You're all twitchy about my powers. That's why we're not doing it."

"You know it doesn't matter where we are." Connor cupped Salome's cheek. "Just as long as we're together. As long as nothing--"

Salome kissed him hard, cutting him off. She pulled back, smiling. "Don't say anything else. You'll jinx us."

"You know it's just easier this way." Connor squeezed Salome's hand. "To already be gone when he finds out. He'll be a bit upset, but he'll be totally over it by the time we get back. If we tell him in person, he'll never let us out the door." Connor shook his head, cradling the back of Salome's skull. "Man, I can't wait to be alone with you..."

Salome laughed. "But we're alone now."

Connor looked around. He couldn't hear anyone else within the house. "You know, you're right. How come we finally get left alone when we're just about to leave?"

"Just one of those things," Salome sighed.

"You packed?" Connor asked, sliding his hands down Salome's back.

"Oh?" Salome pulled out of Connor's lap, sauntering away. "You wanted me to bring clothes?"

Connor had a huge grin on his face. "This is going to be the best birthday ever." He got to his feet, following behind Salome. "Of course, considering the only birthday I've ever actually celebrated included the First Evil tormenting me..."

"Awww..." Salome turned, a frown on her face. "Well, I'm going to make up for all of those sucky birthdays." She thought about it. "It's too bad you're such a wuss. I could make it even better..."

"A wuss?" Connor repeated, surprised. "Just how am I a wuss?"

"Come on!" Salome teased, now grinning. "You won't even tell Andrew what we doing. You're afraid of Andrew."

"I am--" Connor's jaw dropped. "I am not afraid of Andrew!"

Salome shrugged. "That's not how it looks to me. I think you're a big ol' 'fraidy cat. You should be ashamed."

"That's it." Connor grabbed Salome by the waist. "You. Paying for that. Right now." He kissed her passionately.

Salome laughed. "I was just riding you, Ace."

"Not yet," Connor lifted her up. "But once we get upstairs maybe..."

"Hey!" Salome cried as Connor carried her through the hallways. "What are you doing?"

"You don't get to just insult me and get away with it." Connor pushed her up against the wall. He pulled off her shirt. "I'll show you I'm a man."

"We're leaving in like an hour," Salome laughed softly, but didn't resist Connor's advances. "Can't you... Mmm... Wait?"

"I think we need a warm-up." Connor pulled Salome away from the wall, carrying her towards the stairs. He gave her a sharp slap on the ass. "And you need--"

He suddenly froze, noticing that the front door was open. He turned slowly to the two men who stood there.

Connor let go of Salome and she fell on her ass with a surprised yelp. Shock etched on his features, Connor stared at an equally surprised Angel. Connor swallowed hard, raising a hand in greeting. "Hi Dad."

*****

Starring

Vincent Kartheiser	Anna Paquin	Bret Harrison	Kou Shibasaki	Allison Mack	and Tom Lenk

****

Based on the Characters by Joss Whedon	Created by Emcee

****

*****

"Son of a--" Salome pulled herself off the ground, rubbing her backside. "You broke my ass."

Connor didn't reply. Rather, he just kept looking at Angel, a vaguely horrified look on his face. Angel stared back at his son, a similarly stricken look on his face.

Spike, on the other hand, was on the verge of laughter. Finally tearing his eyes away from Connor, Angel glared at his companion.

Spike stopped laughing, glaring back at Angel. "Oh what? It's funny."

"Why did I let you come with?" Angel asked angrily.

"What are you doing here?" Connor finally managed, shaking his head in confusion.

"It's your birthday," Angel replied, looking slightly bashful. "I thought I would surprise you."

"I think you succeeded," Spike chuckled.

Angel glared at the bleach-blond vampire again. "You're not helping."

"Sorry." Spike shrugged. "Wasn't trying to."

"How did you get in?" Connor asked, looking to the door. "You two are still vampires aren't you?"

"Andrew," Angel explained, crossing his arms over his chest. "We stopped by his store. He gave us a key and told us to come in."

"Oh." Connor nodded. "Okay."

Both father and son went quiet, staring at each other uncomfortably. Figuring they were preoccupied with each other, Salome turned to Spike. "Hey Spike. Nice to see you."

Spike nodded in greeting. "Salome." He glanced down. "Fabulous breasts."

Salome glanced down at her bra-clad breasts. She was unfazed. "Thanks. Grew them myself."

Connor covered his face with his hands. "Oh God."

"Ace..." Salome rolled her eyes. "Look on the bright side."

"What bright side?" Connor asked, frustration lacing his voice.

Salome shrugged. "If you were capable of unsnapping a bra, Angel and Spike would have seen me completely topless."

Connor glared at his girlfriend. "You're pure evil, aren't you?"

Salome picked her shirt up off the floor. "Maybe next time you won't drop me on my ass." She stuck her tongue out at him.

Spike laughed softly. "I like her."

"Shut up, Spike," Connor and Angel said in one voice.

Salome held her shirt to her chest. "I'm going to get a little less naked." She glanced at Angel and Spike. "And I guess cancel our reservation."

Connor nodded. "Probably a good idea."

Salome turned and went up the stairs.

Angel frowned slightly, looking to his son. "Reservation?

"It's nothing." Connor looked down, shrugging. "We were just planning on going away for a few days."

Angel furrowed his brow. "Andrew didn't mention anything about that."

"Well..." Connor ran a hand through his hair. "Andrew didn't actually know. We were going to leave him a note."

"Ditching the Watcher." Spike nodded. "Boy's growing up."

"How could you do that?" Angel snapped. "You were just going to take off? With everything that's going on? With Magnimus coming after you?"

"I didn't tell him because he would have reacted the exact same way!" Connor replied tersely. "We wouldn't have been able to leave the house! It's my--" Connor shook his head. "Just forget it." He rubbed his temples. He then went into the living room, coming back to the door with an axe and several stakes. "Mandy's patrolling. I'm going to catch up with her. Just..." Connor shrugged. "Make yourself at home."

Without another word, Connor pushed past Angel and Spike, going out the door. Angel took a step to go after him, but Spike grabbed his shoulder, pulling him back. "Hold it, Peaches. Let the boy go."

"But..." Angel tried to take another step towards the door.

"The boy was about to get shagged when we came in. He needs to punch some of his frustration out before he deals with you..." Spike looked over Angel. "Especially considering you're so happy we interrupted him."

"You think I'm happy?" Angel knocked Spike's hand away. "You think this is how I wanted to find my son?"

"No." Spike chuckled, shaking his head. "But he gets one less session with his girl. Not to mention he doesn't get to go on his dirty weekend. That's what you're pleased about."

"He shouldn't be having sex anyway," Angel muttered.

Spike was laughing hard now. "If you haven't noticed, his girlfriend is bloody hot. Not to mention that he's twenty-one." Spike took a step towards Angel. "Four years older than Buffy was when you boffed her."

"That's different," Angel said quietly.

Spike nodded slowly. "Sure it is."

"Buffy and I were in love," Angel hissed angrily.

"You know..." Salome sauntered down the stairs. "Most people, I'd totally kick their ass for saying that Connor and I weren't in love." She stopped at the bottom of the stairs, leaning against the banister. "Lucky for you, I'm trying to get on your good side." She cocked her head, thinking about it. "Or lucky for me. I'm not sure which one of us is stronger."

Angel turned to face Salome, looking slightly stricken. "I mean..."

Salome crossed her arms over her chest. "You meant that you're very protective of your son and you don't want him involved with a once-married, former drug dealing demon?"

Angel's eyes widened. "You used to deal drugs?"

Salome swallowed hard. "You didn't know that." She winced. "Oh." She looked around. "Connor go patrolling?" She cleared her throat. "He... Uh... Likes to do that when he's frustrated."

Angel nodded slowly. "I knew that."

Salome gave Angel a lopsided smile. "You would, wouldn't you?" She took a step towards Angel. "I get it, Angel. I'm not stupid. I get that you don't like me. I don't blame you. On paper, I look pretty damn bad. But you know I am more than just some bad girl demon who's boning your one and only son." Salome looked up at Angel, black eyes locking with brown. "But I'm not going anywhere. You better get used to me."

****

Connor threw a devastating punch at the vampire he faced. The vampire was thrown back by the savage force, tumbling over a tombstone.

"Didn't expect to see you out," Mandy commented as she rounded the crypt.

"Plans fell through." Connor leapt in the air, crossing the distance between himself and his opponent. "Angel and Spike are in town."

"Oh." Mandy cocked her head. "I honestly didn't see that one coming."

"Yeah." Connor shoved a stake into the vampire's heart. "Neither did I."

Mandy coughed as she stepped through the vampire dust. "Social call or business?"

Connor shrugged. "Probably both."

Mandy walked alongside Connor. She frowned slightly. "You don't want to see your dad?"

"That's not..." Connor sighed, shaking his head. "I didn't say that."

Mandy looked deeply confused. "So you do want to see him?"

"I didn't say that," Connor repeated, looking down. "It's all... Things between me and Angel are... Confusing."

"Maybe this is a chance to unconfuse them," Mandy offered helpfully.

Connor let out a small, bitter laugh. "You need to go over the Angel family history again, Mand. The more time we spend together, the more likely one of us is going to try and kill the other."

There was a noise. Mandy looked up to see where it had come from. She smiled when she saw Andrew and Jamie entering the graveyard. "Hey. You know, you shouldn't be out. I don't want to lose you to some hot vampire babe."

"Like I would ever fall for some undead bimbo," Jamie smiled broadly. "How's patrolling going?"

"Are you just here to get with your girl?" Connor sighed. "Why'd you drag Andrew along then?"

"Actually..." Andrew walked towards Connor. "I'm here to see you. I knew you were going to be here. Your dad comes to town and here you are, patrolling alone."

Connor pointed to Mandy. "She doesn't count?"

"But you're not patrolling with Angel," Andrew stressed.

"Yeah."   Connor shrugged, looking down. "Well, Angel caught me about to have sex."

"Who hasn't?" Andrew asked. His cheeks then turned red. "Or... You know, more than about to."

Connor rolled his eyes. "It's different. It's my dad."

Andrew shifted uncomfortably. "But... Err... Didn't he already see you having sex with Cordelia?"

Connor groaned. "Not helping, Andrew. Just another reason it's really hard for me to be around the guy."

"But you wanna be," Andrew pointed out.

Jamie took Mandy's hand, tugging her towards the gate. "Come on, Chosen Babe. I think Andrew and Connor got patrolling covered."

"But..." Mandy started. She then caught Jamie's pointed look. "Oh. Yeah. Good point. We should... Go elsewhere."

Mandy and Jamie headed towards the exit. Connor rolled his eyes and tossed a stake to Andrew. "You can patrol with me, but that's it. I'm not getting into this."

Andrew tried to catch the stake, but fumbled it. He knelt down to pick it up. Connor strode off and Andrew had to scramble to catch up. "Get into what?"

Connor looked over his shoulder at his Watcher. "Get into how Angel and I should bond and hug and become the nuclear undead family. It's not going to happen. I respect him... I even like him, but we're never going to be a real family."

Andrew shook his head. "How can someone who's so into family ignore his father?"

"So into..." Connor paused, turning to face Andrew. He shook his head fractionally, confused.

Andrew arched a brow. "You're not that dense, are you? Come on! I've never met anyone who's more into family than you. I'm surprised you haven't asked Salome to marry you yet!"

Connor's cheeks went red. "Well, I've... Erm..."

"And how you are with Jamie, calling him Brother..." Andrew shook his head sadly. "You're making a new family with us."

"It's different with actual family," Connor muttered.

"He really wants to see you," Andrew said quietly. "Without Apocalypse-y stuff getting in the way."

Connor sighed.   "I don't..." He shook his head. "Things are hard. The last time Angel and I had a real conversation, he slit my throat!"

Andrew put a hand on Connor's shoulder. "Maybe it's time to give it another shot."

Connor looked down. "I don't know what he wants me to be."

A vampire leapt down from the top of the crypt. Connor shoved Andrew out of the way, pulling a stake from his jacket. He shoved it deep into the vampire's heart.

Andrew got back up, dusting himself off. He looked at his friend, giving him a small smile. "He just wants you to be Connor."

****

"Oh, most glorious Magnimus," the scabby demon fell to his knees in front of Magnimus. "Long have I travelled to kneel at your feet. How may I serve you, my delicious Goddess?"

Magnimus kicked the kneeling demon onto his back. "Look, I'm not Glorificus. I don't want you slobbering all over my shoes. I'll use you, fine. I'll even help you get into my domain... But I'm not going to listen to your fawn all over me." She knelt down beside him. "See, Jinx... I know how great I am. I don't need you telling me."

"Of course you don't." Jinx got back onto his knees. "Your brilliance is known to all. I apologize, most fabulous, bloodthirsty one."

"All right!" Magnimus grabbed Jinx by the chin, forcing him to look at her. "You want to get to Quortoth... I want to get the Destroyer to Quortoth..."

"Of course, terrifying bea--"

Magnimus grabbed Jinx's tongue. "Anymore and I will rip out your tongue and feed it to you." Her eyes burned with anger. "The Destroyer will not come willingly. I need to take away what ties him here."

"Mmmfffhhh..." Jinx nodded, voice muffled.

"There was a demon in my service." Magnimus finally released Jinx's tongue, standing back up. She wrinkled her nose at her saliva-covered fingers, wiping them on her robes. She began to pace. "It came here in one of the rifts. The Destroyer will not know how to combat it. I think it will... Be helpful."

"M...."

Magnimus glared down at Jinx. "Promise this time it's important?"

Jinx nodded.

Magnimus waved her hand. "All right. What is it?"

Jinx hesitantly got to his feet. "The tears to Quortoth are random and unpredictable. This creature could have appeared anywhere in the world, most..." He shrank down at her withering look. "Highness. Calling a particular demon to the Hellmouth will be most difficult."

"Perhaps... For you." Doc stood in the doorway, a parchment within his hands. He shook his head. "Your highness, why take in Glorificus' bottom feeders?"

Magnimus turned to Doc. "My name has not been spoken in this realm since I dispatched of Illyria. My followers are few here." Magnimus ran a hand over Jinx's scabby scheek. "Believe me... If I had more options, I'd tear this scab limb from limb." Magnimus gave Jinx a light slap on the cheek. "Leave us.

"Of course." Jinx nodded. "Most--"

"Just go!" Magnimus snapped. She waited for him to scramble to the door before turning to Doc. "So... You have something for me?"

Doc reached into his jacket, pulling out a small, red crystal. "It will be drawn to this crystal." He hesitated. "Of course, you know, even for you, it is impossible to control. It may kill the Destroyer as well."

Magnimus accepted the crystal. Her smile grew. "Oh... I have far more faith in the boy than that. This will be very interesting."

****

Connor paused in the doorway of his room. He frowned slightly, brow furrowed. After a moment of observing Angel examining the model spaceship, he spoke. "It's the Defiant."

Surprised by the voice, Angel jumped, dropping the ship onto the ground. It broke in half. Angel shifted uncomfortably, looking down at the broken model. "Umm... Sorry about that."

"It's all right." Connor shrugged, a look of amusement now on his face. "I've done that a couple of times now."

Angel knelt down, picking up the two pieces of the ship and examining them closely. "So... I guess you've been hanging out with Andrew too long."

"Actually..." Connor took the pieces of the ship from his father. "I had that before." He blushed. "You had Cyvus Vail make me kinda geeky."

"Well..." Angel averted his gaze. "Wesley told me your personality was based on what you would be if you were raised by the Rileys."

Connor cocked his head. "So you mean I'm naturally geeky?" He thought about it for a moment, frowning. "Huh. I'm not really sure what I think of that."

"I'm sorry I surprised you before." Angel shifted uncomfortably.

Connor nodded. "Yeah. I'm sorry too." He looked around. "Where's Salome?"

"Oh..." Angel looked out the window. "I think she's on the porch with Spike."

Connor's eyes widened. "Alone?"

"What's wrong with that?" Angel asked.

"You've seen Spike, right?" Connor asked, looking slightly panicked.

Angel couldn't help but smile. "I don't think you have anything to worry about." He then looked slightly bashful. "Salome and I had a talk. She's... Stuck on you."

Connor looked down. "Oh... "

Angel shrugged. "And here I thought things might have changed with Mandy here."

Connor's head jerked up. "Did you send Mandy here so I would start dating her?"

"I didn't send Mandy here!" Angel protested. "She's going to school!" He looked away. "Maybe... I just thought you might... Hit it off."

"She's dating Jamie," Connor commented faintly.

Angel sat down on the edge of the bed. "I wanted you to have normal."

Connor's brow furrowed in confusion. "How is a Vampire Slayer normal?"

"Well..." Angel sighed. "More normal than a demon."

"But I love the demon," Connor said quietly.

Angel nodded. "I know you do, son."

Connor went quiet, studying his father. After a long, drawn out moment, he finally spoke. "Is this really a social call, Dad?"

Angel looked up at Connor, a slightly apologetic look on his face. "I don't think we'll ever get one of those. But... For the most part."

Connor sat down beside Angel. "Do you have any news?"

Angel shook his head. "We haven't heard anything. We're working on it." He glanced over at Connor. "I was worried about you."

"What have you heard?" Connor folded his hands, leaning against them. "About what's been going on here?"

"That two of your people were put in the hospital." Angel looked worriedly at his son. "That this has to do with Quortoth."

"Andrew told me this is happening all over." Connor paused. "Everyone's involved. You could worry about me somewhere else."

Angel met Connor's gaze. "I wanted to worry about you here."

Connor's expression softened. "Dad..."

They both heard the front door open and Andrew exclaim, "Oh my God!"

Angel and Connor jumped to their feet. On the way out the door, Connor grabbed his axe. They thundered down the stairs to see what had distressed Andrew.

When he reached the bottom of the stairs, Connor dropped his axe. He gaped at the three people standing in the doorway.

"Connor?" Lawrence Riley took a step forward.

"Hi..." Connor swallowed hard. "Dad."

ACT TWO