The Nyazian Prophecies

Palo Alto Community Theatre was dark, only a single spotlight illuminated the stage. A handsome young Asian man stood at the centre, bathed in the light. He looked down, engrossed in his playbook. He absent-mindedly paced back and forth.

"You can do this," he murmured to himself. He closed his eyes, taking a deep, cleansing breath. He then closed the book, raising his head. "To be, or not to be... That is the question."

He took a step upstage. "Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune...."

Just as he opened his mouth to speak his next line, there was a blinding flash. An unholy, beastly shriek filled the theatre, echoing.

The young man was knocked off his feet, falling face first onto the stage. The playbook in his hand skidded across the floor, his hand slack and motionless. Blood began to spread across the stage.

A gloved hand touched the railing on the rafters. A shadowy figure peered over the edge, observing the crowd gathering below.

Mandy bounded down the aisle towards the door. She was grinning broadly as she stopped. Andrew wheeled Jamie inside. "Hey!" Mandy held her hand up in greeting. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We just closed up shop for the night," Andrew explained, leaning against Jamie's chair. "We thought we'd come by and see how everything was going."

"Awww..." Mandy reached out, taking Jamie's hand and squeezing it. "That was so sweet." She leaned in, brushing her lips against his cheek.

"Don't be too flattered, Mand," Jamie gave Andrew a teasing smile. "I'm here to see you... He's just afraid to go home with Salome and Connor there." He laughed. "He might walk in on them again."

Andrew's cheeks went very red and he shuddered. "That is not what the mats in the training room are for."

"Whatever the reason," Mandy squeezed Jamie's hand. "It's still great you guys are here. We were just about to start dress rehearsal and we could use a larger audience to give us feedback."

Andrew moved past Mandy, taking a seat in the backrow. "If we watch it now, does that mean we have to buy tickets opening night."

Mandy gave Andrew a tap on the arm. He flinched as if he had been slapped. "Ow! Slayer strength!"

"The very expensive repairs to my demon-trashed car fund." Mandy sat down beside Andrew. "The council is only springing for half."

"Of course I am!" Mandy hit Andrew again. He flinched again, looking pained. "It's a charity Gunn set up to help children whose parents have been killed by vampires."

Mandy beamed at Jamie, reaching out and touching his hand. "Really? Isn't the language lovely?"

"Hey, there's Oni!" Jamie pointed to the stage. Oni was standing in the centre, wearing a beautiful blue corseted dress. "She looks beautiful."

Jamie slumped down. "I just can't win, can I?" He looked over what Mandy was wearing-- a puffy, white shirt, floral scarf and beret. "I like you... Piratey thing too, Mand."

"No, I gotta give it to her." Mandy looked up at the stage. "She's all kinds of babe." She got to her feet. "I really should get directory. So stick around and enjoy, boys." Mandy walked towards the stage. "Where's Brad?"

Bradley, a handsome young dark-haired man, came out onto the stage, flipping through a script. "I'm here... Let's get..."

Mandy's eyes went wide. She leapt up onto the stage, pushing Bradley out of the way just as the huge light came down on her.


Vincent Kartheiser	Anna Paquin	Bret Harrison	Kou Shibasaki	Allison Mack	and Tom Lenk

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Based on the Characters by Joss Whedon	Created by Emcee

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Special Guest Stars

Andy Hallett

Guest Starring

Archie Kao
Nathan Bogle

Written by

Emcee

Connor pushed Salome against the refrigerator, crushing his mouth to hers passionately. Notes and magnets fell to the floor as he urged her legs around his waist before burying his fingers in her hair.

They separated, only moving an inch apart. Salome smiled broadly. "I guess that's one way to say how was your day?" She was panting heavily.

"Usual." Salome took his mouth again. Connor pulled Salome away from the fridge, carrying her across the kitchen. Still engrossed in the kiss, he carefully navigated around the counter and into the living room. Jack had to race out of the way to avoid getting squished as they fell down onto the couch.

"It's hard to follow formalities," Connor pulled away, breath ragged. He tugged Salome's shirt over her head. "I mean... How often is there no one else in the house? Just you... And me..."

"You would think..." Salome was similarly frantic to undress Connor. "They would be so happy we were getting along again..." She paused to accept Connor's searing kiss. "They would leave us alone for..." She moaned as one of Connor's hand plunged into her jeans. "Five minutes..."

Connor tossed Salome's discarded jeans onto the floor. "They are really intolerant, considering how insistent they..." He began to fumble with her bra. "Dammit... How the hell do you get this thing off?"

Salome sighed. "Front, Ace." She reached up, removing the undergarment and tossing it to the floor.

"Don't mess me up like that." Connor protested, leaning in and kissing Salome's bare shoulder. "I have enough problems with the regular ones."

Salome shook her head. "And just how are you supposed to be the big Champion?" She grinned teasingly.

Grabbing Salome by the hips, Connor pulled her closer. Salome let out a shriek as they tumbled to the floor. They began to move together intimately, clutching each other tightly.

The phone began to ring. With a groan, Connor groped blindly for the receiver. He knocked it off the side table. Still on top of Salome, he brought the receiver to his ear. "Lamia House." He sighed resignedly. "Connor speaking."

"Andrew and I are at the theatre. Something weird happened here." Jamie paused. "Mandy got hurt."

"She's a Slayer," Jamie replied. "Shaken, but no damage. But we could use an expert on weird to look things over."

"Isn't Andrew with you?" Connor scrubbed his face with his hands. "You already have... Three experts on weird there, plus one All-Star Rookie."

Connor groaned again. "All right, all right... I'll be there in a few minutes. You could not have picked a worst time to call."

"Dude! " Jamie sounded stricken. "I didn't need to know that. I so didn't need to know that."

Connor shook his head. "I'm sorry. Did I make you feel uncomfortable?" His voice dripped with sarcasm. "I have absolutely no idea what uncomfortable feels like."

"So you're coming, right?" There was a very long, uncomfortable pause. "I mean, to the theatre."

Connor turned off the phone and dropped the receiver to the floor. He looked to Salome apologetically.

Salome leaned in, giving him a gentle kiss on the temple. "I thought things were supposed to get easier now that we had more heroes in town."

Connor began to scour the floor for his clothing. "Would I be a terrible person if I sort of directed a vampire towards a locked room containing our closest friends?"

Connor gave Salome a warm smile as he threaded a hand in her hair. "A man in love can't be held responsible for his actions."

Connor shook his head. "You know, I'm starting to think Magnimus' evil plan is killing me through sexual frustration... And she's got our nearest and dearest in on the conspiracy."

Oni moved the icepack off of Mandy's ankle. She brushed her carefully curled hair out of her face. "I believe you will be all right, Mandelina. The only damage seems to be to your capillaries."

Oni furrowed her brow. "That is what I said, is it not?" She looked down at Mandy's injured ankle. "You will be able to remain mobile, however I suggest you limit your activities."

"If you need help getting around," Jamie wheeled closer to the two girls. "You can always sit in my lap."

Mandy smacked Jamie in the only place she could reach, his lower leg. "You're cute. You don't have to try so hard."

Oni got to her feet and helped Mandy up. Blushing deeply, she walked to Bradley. She placed a hand on his arm. "Are you all right, Bradley?"

Bradley pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, straightening them. "I believe so," he spoke in a gentle English accent. "Mandy... That was... Wow... I've never seen someone move like that."

Mandy had a similar smile on her face. "Okay." She looked over to the cast, who looked confused and more than a little scared. "Let's take five guys. Go find the pieces of your costumes you thought I wouldn't notice were missing."

Once the crowd had dispersed, Mandy limped down to meet Connor. She sensed someone walking behind her. She turned to face Oni. "Did you hear what I said, Oni?"

"My friends came to help me get the light off the stage," Mandy replied quietly. "Nothing's wrong. It's just that the theatre is a little run down. Now I need my leading lady to go backstage and convey that to my cast."

Mandy put a hand on Oni's shoulder. "Come on, Oni. Make sure they know everything's okay. I need you to do this for me. Go make sure Bradley's really okay."

Oni's cheeks turned a deeper shade of crimson. "Well... I believe I can assist you in keeping the peace."

"What happened?" Connor asked, looking around. "Jamie was vague. Just that something weird had happened.

Salome nodded. "If there were demons, you guys would have been saying 'Oh God, oh God... Please help us, we can't do this alone'."

"A light fell," Mandy explained, a bitter edge to her voice as she glared at Salome. "It nearly landed on my Hamlet, but I got him out of the way in time. But it landed on me."

Connor blinked, mouth gaped open. ".... A light fell." He looked to Salome, raking his gaze over her. He then turned back to Jamie, Andrew and Mandy. "You called me because a light fell?"

Connor closed his mouth tightly and did an about face, striding towards the door.

"I'm going back home!" Connor exclaimed. "I thought you would have enough respect for me to wait at least until evil theatre gnomes attacked to bug me."

Connor absently waved his hand towards the stage as he walked to the door. "It's a light!" His voice was laced with aggravation. "You called me because Mandy's so cheap, she rented the crappiest theatre in Palo Alto."

Mandy scowled at Salome. "You, of all people, are teasing me about hair colour."

"I'm still stuck on this falling light thing." Connor put an arm around Salome's shoulder. "You called me for a fallen light."

"She's not even bleeding!" Connor exclaimed, gesturing to Mandy. "No offence, Mand... I'm sorry you got hurt... But, come on!"

"It has nothing to do with that!" Connor shook his head savagely. "I know I'm the Destroyer, but... Guys, there are some things you can handle on your own! Do you have to get me in on everything?"

"Well..." Salome leaned against Connor. "Angel did make you the Regional Big Enchilada of the Western Hellmouth... You can't get the perks of bossing us all around without some inconvenience."

"I'll love you forever, Salome...." Connor scowled. "But sometimes I really don't like you." He pulled away from her, slumping down into a chair in the audience. "You guys are even smarter than me when it comes to the mystical... So you really don't have to feel obligated to call me for everything. Especially when it's a fallen light in a run-down theatre."

Andrew, Jamie and Mandy all shared uncomfortable looks. After a long moment of silence, Andrew finally spoke. "...Can you help us move the light?" His phone rang. He looked down at the display. "Or, you know, move it yourself?" He didn't wait for an answer, instead turning his attention to his phone. "Hey Giles."

Connor stood back up, shaking his head. "Later, we're laying down ground rules for use of my powers."

The girl playing Gertrude added another touch of grey to her hair. "You know, it's bad luck for us to perform now."

One of the other actors looked into the mirror, adjusting his fake moustache. "What makes you say that, Suzanne?"

Suzanne gave him a look of disbelief. "Our director was nearly killed, Eric! How can you not think that's bad luck?"

"It's not a sign the play is going to fail," Eric replied, clapping Suzanne on the shoulder. "It's a sign this hole needs to be renovated."

"Is that how you explain all of the weird stuff that keeps happening around here?" Suzanne asked.

Oni leaned in, interested in the conversation. "The superstitious nature of theatrical personnel is fascinating. Would you mind elaborating?"

Suzanne blinked, looking over Oni as if she were an alien. "I really shouldn't do community theatre." She got to her feet, stalking off haughtily.

"Ignore her." Bradley walked up behind Oni, putting a hand on her shoulder. "She's just bitter that you got Ophelia."

Oni turned, smiling at Bradley. "But I only received the section because Mandelina was unable to find an adequate performer within the university's dramatic department."

"Hence the bitterness," Bradley replied with a wicked smile. He looked out to the stage. "So what do you think is going on?"

Oni shrugged slightly. "I would like to investigate further before making any sort of conclusion. However, my attempts are being impeded by Mandelina."

Connor grunted as he set the light down with help from Salome and Mandy. He peered around at the performers milling in the wings, observing the proceedings. "Do you think the actors know I'm just pretending I can't carry this by myself?" He whispered.

"Oh yeah." Salome smiled. "I look at you and I totally believe you could be an utter wuss."

"I think I miss you two fighting," Mandy muttered, stretching. "If you don't mind, I'm going to go assure my cast that the show will go on."

Mandy strode across the stage. Jamie rolled over to Connor. "So did you find any signs of foul play?"

Connor shook his head. "I found sign of a fallen light. I don't know what I'm supposed to be looking for. You know, a light fell the last time I was in here too."

There was a beeping noise. "Dammit." Salome glanced at her watch. "I've gotta book. Time to liquor up the demon populace."

"Already?" Connor frowned. "Why'd you get me worked up at home when you knew you had to go off to work so early?"

"Aww..." Salome gave him a tender kiss before bounding off the stage. "It's adorable how you think we'd still be busy."

"And you're just going to let her get away with it?" Jamie shook his head. "She just slighted your manhood."

Connor looked up, smiling. "She's the only one who does anything with my manhood. She can say whatever she wants."

Connor shrugged. "It's Salome." His grin widened. "Besides, she sounds a hell of a lot different when we're alone."

Connor frowned. "Huh. I thought it was just my super hearing." He leaned against the broom. "So how long is it going to be before I'm complaining about your noise level?" He glanced over at Mandy. "I bet she's got super lung capacity."

Jamie smacked Connor in the side. "Last time you gave me a hard time for moving too fast with a girl."

"You slept with Dahlia after knowing her for a day," Connor stressed. "Besides, Mandy's a Slayer, Dahlia was a whoring demon. It's not exactly the same thing."

"I like her." Jamie shrugged. "But I've only known she likes me for a little while. I wanna wait before I get majorly involved. I wanna be respectful."

Connor gave Jamie a small smile. "It's because of that stab wound in your gut, isn't it?"

Jamie shook his head. "I want her so bad." He sighed. "I'm just a little worried. I mean, she's capable of breaking every bone in my body... I don't want to move too fast."

"What do you think?" Jamie asked. "How long did you wait to make a move on Salome?"

"I'm not talking about sealing the deal," Jamie sighed. "Geez. There are a few steps in between that. I've never dealt with 'em before."

"I didn't have anyone holding my hand when I was starting off with Salome," Connor pointed out."

"Yeah..." Jamie wheeled closer. "But as my best friend, you're supposed to help me avoid the same dumbass mistakes you made."

"Dumbass mistakes?" Connor protested. "The only problem we had was pissing off her psychotic ex-husband!"

Connor sighed. "Well, it's different. Salome and I had known each other for a year and a half. So it's not surprising we moved... Fast..."

"Well..." Connor turned red. "I mean we didn't really date or anything. We were just... Us."

"I'm not telling you that!" Connor exclaimed. "Weren't you just complaining about my sex life?"

Jamie nodded. "Well... Yes... But if you tell me how quick things went with Salome, I won't feel so bad about jumping Mandy as soon as I'm out of this chair."

Connor sighed. "First base night we go together, second a couple days later..." He thought about it for a moment. "Third a... Week after that and a home run just into week three." He looked to Jamie. "No one's going to judge you for making a move on Mand. After Dahlia, anything is an improvement."

Jamie frowned. "Are you just trying to get me to move things with Mandy so I'll stop bugging you about Sal?"

Connor grinned cheekily. "I just want you to get laid before the Earth gets sucked into hell."

"Wow..." Jamie shook his head. "Unfunny, thy name is Connor." He began to wheel his way over to Mandy. He then paused, turning back to Connor. "...You don't think she'll be too distracted by the hell suckage to date, do you?"

Connor gave Jamie a dark look. "I lost my virginity while fire rained from the sky. You're talking to the wrong person."

Jamie averted his gaze, very uncomfortable with Connor's mention of Cordelia. It was rare for him to speak about her. They both remained silent.

Finally, after a long moment, Connor spoke. "I think there's always something coming... And you make time for this stuff. Now go ask her out already."

Mandy turned away from the actor playing the King's Ghost. "Hey." She leaned in, keeping her voice low. "Did Connor find anything?"

"Extreme annoyance at us for bugging him during his boning time," Jamie replied. He gave a small shrug. "He's got nothing. It looks like it just fell."

"There's been some strange stuff going on," Mandy sighed, looking up at the rafters. "Ever since we got in here..."

"Listen..." Jamie looked down. "I wasn't actually coming over here to give you a report. I... Uh... Well..."

Mandy leaned in closer, putting a finger to Jamie's lips, halting his babbling. "I'm going to be here late, especially now that we've been delayed. I'm really going to need some coffee after we're done. You'll take me?"

"It is good." Mandy gave him a smile. "I hope I don't offend you, but I need you to get the hell off my stage." She looked to Connor. "Hey-- Superboy-- Wanna give me a hand?"

"Not offended," Jamie said quietly. "More embarrassed. I can't wait to get out of this damn chair. I feel so useless."

Connor frowned as he and Mandy picked up Jamie's chair. "Aw, man... You shouldn't feel bad. Line of duty and everything."

"You stabbed me in the gut!" Jamie retorted. "It's not like I was felled bravely defending the world."

The cast came out onto the stage. Mandy smiled up at them. "All right... I know things have been kinda weird tonight... But let's just push forward and do our best."

Oni put her hand on Bradley's shoulder, talking quietly, talking quietly to him. Connor furrowed his brow, watching the exchange. "Hey Mand?"

Andrew came back in, closing up his phone. "Okay, I just finished up with Giles. Apparently, Buffy had an incident with a nasty demon. He's going to fax over a rough sketch of it. Wants you to comfirm if its from You-Know-Where." He frowned deeply when he saw Connor's look. "Everything all right?"

Connor looked over at Mandy. "Bradley's the 'hot, British guy' you mentioned while on patrol."

Connor turned his head to face his Watcher. "Are you telling me he doesn't remind you of anyone? Especially if he's got a British accent?"

"Oh..." Andrew nodded. "Yeah. That actually makes more sense. So what's your point?"

Connor nodded. "Later, I'll get Sa--"

There was a scream. Oni and Bradley jumped back as the sword came down between them, embedding into the stage.