The Nyazian Prophecies

The stage at Caritas was bathed in darkness. There was a mumble from the crowd of demons. The club was packed. A light piano tune began to play over the karaoke machine.

Suddenly, a spotlight bathed the stage, focused on the gold sequins clad woman. She stood with her back to the crowd.

Turning, Salome peered out at the audience from under her sequin top hat. Her jacket was covered in gold and the bustier underneath covered every colour in the rainbow. She licked her ruby red lips before bringing the microphone up. Her voice was mournful. " I've done a lot, God knows I've tried... To find the truth, I've even lied... But all I know is down inside I'm bleeding."

Salome placed a hand against her chest. "And Super Heroes come to feast... To taste the flesh not yet deceased... And all I know is still the beast is feeding."

The music swelled as Lorne made his way onto the stage. He took the microphone from Salome, facing her as he began joined the song, his own voice very serious, almost impassive. "And crawling on the planet's face... Some insects called the human race... Lost in time, lost in space... And meaning."

Lorne stood on stage, behind the microphone. His clothes were subdued, a dark blue suit. The club was nearly deserted. The house lights were up. Without the ambient lighting, the club seemed cold and hollow.

"It was supposed to be a quiet night," Lorne said solemnly. He took the microphone off the stand. "I mean, it's always a quiet night. Sure, there have been a few... Costumes changing people... Fear demons... Teen vampires... Temporary destiny rewriting... But it was never anything big. All things we could deal with."

He slipped down onto the stool in the middle of the stage. "It was never... It was never supposed to be like that."

Lorne closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. "It was supposed to be a gift. A gift to the world. Some way to save it." He laughed coldly.

He shook his head. "We didn't know. There was no way we could know. It was supposed to be a gift."

Lorne lifted his drink-- scotch on the rocks-- to his mouth. He drained it in one gulp. His shoulders slumped as he let his arm sag. "I've seen a lot in my life.... Most of it in the last five years..."

He got up and began to pace. "But I never thought it would get like this. I didn't get ready for it. I should have known. It never gets better." He laughed again. "As a new friend of mine would say only entropy comes easy."

Lorne leaned against the piano, setting his glass down on top. "It was supposed to be a gift. We didn't know what it would do."

The door to the club open. Lorne looked up. When he saw who it was, he nodded. "You're in for a special treat tonight, folks."

He stood up straight, trying to get back into his normal Host routine. It seemed half-hearted. "I've got some guests tonight. They need Uncle Lorne to put them back on their path. So they're singing out once more with feeling." He shook his head. "We'll see if I can do anything for them."

Lorne went to the edge of the stage. He looked down at Oni, Andrew and Mandy. He held out the microphone. "So which one of you wants to go first?"


Vincent Kartheiser	Anna Paquin	Bret Harrison	Kou Shibasaki	and Tom Lenk

****


Based on the Characters by Joss Whedon	Created by Emcee

****

Special Guest Stars

Andy Hallet
Joel Grey

Guest Starring

Deborah Zoe
Nicole DeBoer
Christopher Khayman Lee
Jared Hillman
Jewel Staite
James C. Leary
Laura Silverman
Katheryn Joosten

and
Allison Mack

Written by

Emcee

Oni's hands trembled as she reached for the microphone. "I.... I do not do this a lot..."

Lorne took Oni's hand, helping her up onto the stage. "Don't worry about it, Sweet N Low."

"It's all right, China Doll," Lorne assured her, stroking her arm. "Just relax. You want my help, don't you?"

Oni nodded. "All right..." She turned to the sparse audience. "I do not know why I selected this song," she said shyly. "I know Krevlornswath believes every song is selected for a reason."

Lorne nodded. "I'll figure it out when you start singing." He gave her a very small, reassuring smile. "So come on."

Oni pressed the button on the karaoke machine. It began to play a haunting melody. Oni closed her eyes and began to sing. "There was a boy... A very strange, enchanted boy..." She tightened her grip on the microphone. "They say he wandered very far... Very far.... Over land and sea."

Oni sat perched on the edge of the kitchen table. She gently stroked Jack, who stretched out beside her.

"Do you require assistance washing the dishes?" Oni asked casually as she tickled Jack's belly. The kitten batted at her hand.

Oni shrugged and looked down at Jack. "I believe Salome's portable music device has drowned out my speech."

The door swung open and Connor entered, carrying his book bag. He threw the bag down onto the table, making Jack jump into Oni's lap. The cat glared at the bag.

"Greetings!" Oni chirped happily. "How were your academic pursuits today, Connor?"

Connor shrugged. "You know, the usual. Glad to be done." His response was distant as his attention was focused on Salome. Her hips were moving rhythmically as she tried to get a plate clean. Connor licked his lips, his cheeks turning red.

"Ummm..." Connor looked down. "You know, I've been thinking Sal...." He cocked his head, eyeing her. "You know, you look really good in those pants."

There was no reply from Salome. She just moved onto the next dish. Connor frowned deeply and turned to Oni. "Is she pissed off at me?" He thought about it. "...Again?"

Oni smiled, starting to pet Jack once again. "Think for a moment, Connor." She nodded to Salome. "Consider the situation."

"Oh!" Connor's expression brightened. "Right!" He came up behind Salome, tapping her on the shoulder.

Salome turned around, looking puzzled. She took out her earbuds. "What's up Ac--" She stopped. "Connor."

Connor quickly shook off the use of his real name and managed a small, shy smile. "Hey Salome."

Oni nodded eagerly. "Yes. I suppose I could. However, if I leave at this juncture I will miss your conversation with Salome."

Pouting, Oni picked up Jack and headed towards the door. "Fine then. I will just go put on my costume."

"Thanks." Salome pushed a lock of hair out of her face, tucking it over her ear. "Always nice to hear. But I have dishes to do.... What's up?"

"I think we should go out," Connor said quickly. His blue eyes were wide, a hopeful look on his face.

Salome frowned slightly. "You mean patrolling?" She shook her head. "Come on, you know nothing's going on tonight. It's Halloween. We all get a well-deserved break."

"Yeah, I know..." Connor furrowed his brow. "I kinda meant on a date. Going out on a date. With me." He shifted uncomfortably.

Salome blinked. She then looked away, thinking for a moment. When she turned back to Connor, she let out a soft laugh. She put her hand to her mouth, her cheeks going fuchsia. "You're asking me out on a date?"

Connor looked down, growing sombre. "Like you said, tonight's supposed to be quiet. Andrew's giving me the night off. And I want to spend it with you."

Salome's face fell. She bit her lower lip, hesitating for a moment. "And I can't believe I'm saying no."

Connor looked up at Salome. He closed his eyes as heartbreak washed over his features. "What? Why?"

Salome sighed deeply. "Traditional, Halloween is quiet..." She shook her head. "But you know Caritas has never been traditional. I have to work. Lorne is doing something special tonight."

Connor opened his eyes once again, looking over Salome. He broke out in a large grin. "You're going to sing, aren't you?"

"You know everyone comes to Caritas. And everyone sings at Caritas." Salome leaned in. "Should I call you Derek... Or the Dominoes?"

"We're going out tonight," Connor said quickly, nodding sharply. "Tonight. After you're done work."

Connor reached out. The movement surprised Salome, quickly moving back. She relaxed when he took her hand. "I'm a night person," Connor smiled. "Please. I want to go out with you, Salome."

"Niiice." Connor grinned at Salome. He played with the chain around Salome's neck. "Come on, Sal. I promise fun."

"Great." Connor touched the Claddagh ring that hung on the end of the chain. He looked into Salome's eyes. "It looks good on you." He pulled away, smiling. "I'll pick you up tonight. Three AM."

Jamie was draped in black robes. The sleeves of which hung down as he picked up the knife from the counter. His plastic scythe rested on the glass counter top. He was wide eyed as he pulled the knife from the sheath. "Wow... Now this is a knife." He examined the blade closely.

Andrew was dressed in a very baggy Spider-Man costume. He had quite obviously made it himself. The spider emblem was slightly askew. As he counted the money from the till, he shrugged, slightly embarrassed. "Connor's got weapons... Salome's got weapons... Mandy's got weapons." Andrew gave Jamie a light shot in the arm. "I thought you should have a weapon too. Don't get mushy."

"Not mushy," Jamie said carefully. He slid the knife away and turned to Andrew. "Actually, more worried than anything else."

"There's something up." Jamie pulled off his hood. "We all know it. That demon Connor killed at the theatre... It said it had a Master." Jamie groaned, taking the cash from Andrew and sliding it into a deposit envelope. "Why are they all nameless Masters? Isn't there demon royalty? Or how about a nice mad scientist." He turned to Andrew. "I tell you, I'd love to meet a Lord Voldemort or a Doctor Doom. But no... They're all nameless Masters."

Andrew frowned as he followed behind Jamie towards the back. "Are you really worried?"

"Of course I am!" Jamie exclaimed. He turned back to Andrew. "There is some Master around getting vampires and demons to work together! Do I need to remind you the last time a nameless Master made vampire and demons work together, my baby sister was killed and the Hellmouth was created? How can you not be worried about this?"

"I am worried," Andrew replied. He shrugged. "I'm just not getting freaked out about it. We're looking into it. I have no idea what's going on yet, but we're doing all we can. I'm calling the Council twice a day... They're working on getting through all the prophecies... Not just the Nyazian ones either. Now that there's a Slayer here, Giles has broken out the Pergamum Codex. Meanwhile, we've got a Slayer of the Vampires, the High Priestess of Illyria and the Destroyer of the Dark Dimension backing us up."

Jamie sighed, shaking his head. "If I remember correctly, last year we had a Slayer of the Vampires, the High Priestess of Illyria and the Destroyer of the Dark Dimension backing us up.... And Rona got killed, Connor was nearly turned into a vampire, I got stabbed and the Hellmouth was created."

"We're going to be fine." Andrew put a hand on Jamie's shoulder. "Hey... We got a shipment of Star Trek Diamond Selects in... You wanna price them?"

Jamie took a step back, eyeing Andrew suspiciously. "That would mean I would have to use the price gun."

Andrew nodded. "Yeah." He shrugged. "So? What's wrong with that? I love using the price gun."

"So do I." Jamie narrowed his gaze on Andrew. "But you love it so much, you once priced my forehead at $18.79."

Andrew looked thoughtful. "Hey... Why do you suppose all of the prices end in nine? It's weird, huh?"

Jamie took another step back. "You and I have been fighting about using the price gun since we opened the store. What are you trying to do?"

"I thought it would be nice!" Andrew exclaimed. He went back to the counter. "Geez, you try and do something for a friend..."

He leaned heavily against the counter. "Jay, seriously... You've got to let some of it go."

"And there always will be." Andrew looked up. He looked uncharacteristically solemn. "It's always going to be something, Jay... Always." He let out a small laugh. "I can't believe no one told you this earlier. If we take one Big Bad down... There's always going to be another to take its place. We always keep fighting."

He shook his head. "You can't gut yourself every time something bad is brewing. If you do, you're not going to survive here."

Jamie thought about it for a moment. He puffed out his cheeks as he blew out a long breath. "You can get really serious sometimes.'

Andrew shrugged. "I have my moments." He smiled at Jamie. "Go price stuff. Have some Fun-Sized Mars Bars. I've got a few things to finish up before we leave."

Jamie went to the counter and picked up the price gun. He pressed it to Andrew's forehead, affixing a 15.99 price tag to it. "I still think we should have gotten peanut butter cups."

Andrew grabbed a mini chocolate bar from the plastic Jack O' Lantern on the counter. "I like Mars Bars." He jumped onto the counter and unwrapped the candy.

"Of course!" Andrew called after him, stuffing the chocolate into his mouth. "I'm dying to see Chico in fishnets!" He paled. "I mean...."

"Yeah, yeah..." Jamie turned, pushing open the door to the back with his shoulders. He grinned at Andrew. "I know exactly what you mean."

Andrew waited for the door to close. He took a deep breath and fished his cellphone out of his red and blue pants. He hit speed dial and put the phone to his ear. He fidgeted as he waited for someone to pick up. He then jumped off the counter. "Hey. It's Andrew. I need to speak to the Big Man."

Andrew paced in front of the counter. "Giles! Do you have any news?" He sighed. "I'm sorry! I know it's late! But I'm getting edgy and I'm not the only one. Everyone here is worried about what's coming. I need some info."

He opened the door, stepping outside. "I know it probably won't happen tonight, but... Well... Never say never, right?"

Above the counter, right beside the cash register, a blue and white crack flashed in the air. It quickly disappeared, but the atmosphere didn't appear quite right any longer."

Mandy was lying on her belly in the living room of Lamia House. She was peering out to the front hall. Connor was at the door, putting handfuls of candy into the bags of the trick or treaters. "Have a great Halloween!" Connor said enthusiastically before closing the door.

Magdalen came out of the kitchen, frowning slightly. "Dear, I told you I could take care of the kids. You don't have to worry about it."

"It's no worry!" Connor beamed. He went up to Magdalen, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Have I told you its great having you watch after us?"

Connor bounded back into the living room. Mandy let out a hearty laugh. "You know, I have never seen you this happy. I would describe you as effulgent."

Connor threw himself down onto the couch. "Well I--" He paused, furrowing his brow. "Effulgent?"

Mandy shrugged. "Spike's been trying to convince me to use it. Seemed appropriate."

"Well things are good." Connor shrugged. "Tonight's dead night... I'm going out with my girlfriend and..."

Mandy smiled slyly as she went back to her notebook. "And you think if you're a good boy, your demon will play with your ding-dong?"

Connor stared at Mandy in astonishment. "You made a good choice majoring in English. You're really poetic."

"Well..." Mandy tapped her pen against her lip. "If she bites your head off or gets you pregnant... I will be forced to do my 'I told you so' dance."

Connor gave Mandy a disbelieving look. "We've been sleeping together for almost a year... If either of those things were going to happen, I think they would have happened already." He leaned back against the couch. "It'll all be fine. Come three am, everything will be cool."

Mandy rolled her eyes. "And until three, you're going to keep grinning like an idiot and wasting your precious free time."

Connor slumped further down on the couch. "And what are you doing tonight that's so great?"

"I'm going to a party," Mandy replied casually, scribbling down in her book. "It's being thrown by a kid from my Masterpieces in English Lit class."

Mandy nodded, not even looking up from her book. "Classic fictional characters."

Mandy looked up slowly. "I'm messing with you. I'm going as Dorothy Gale from the Wonderful Wizard of Oz." She tapped her pen against her lip again. "I could have gone with something really classic... Like Juliet or Titania, I mean, I have the costumes..." She shrugged. "But I had to go cute. So are you dressing up?"

"It's fun ," Mandy said slowly, searching Connor's expression for some amusement. "And everyone else is dressing up?"

Connor shrugged. "Well, if everyone's dressing up, maybe it's a good thing that I don't. I heard that can go wrong sometimes."

"I heard that too." Mandy pulled herself into a sitting position. "He's in jail and you're no fun." She placed her notebook in her lap.

Connor peered over Mandy's shoulder at her notebook. "What are you doing anyway? More work on your play?"

Mandy smiled at Connor. "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players."

Connor shook his head before leaning against his folded hands. "Okay, that's enough... I have to ask... What's with all the Shakespeare? Ever since I met you, you've been quoting like crazy. Why does a... Okay, slightly bizarre Toronto-born Slayer spout Shakespeare all the time?"

"Stratford," Mandy said. "I wasn't born in Toronto. I was raised there. But I was born in Stratford."

"Stratford..." Mandy said slowly. "Home of the Stratford Festival?" She rolled her eyes when Connor showed no comprehension. "Oh, come on! It's a festival celebrating Shakespeare and all wonderful theatre in general." She closed her notebook. "My dad was an actor there. And my mother was a critic for the Sun. They met backstage. They talked. Eleven months later, Mandelina Capulet Boyd was born."

Mandy glared at Connor, crossing her arms over her chest. "We haven't figured out which one of us is stronger, you know." She got to her feet. "I should probably take off. Get ready for my party."

"All right." Connor got up. "I should probably figure out what I'm going to wear tonight."

Mandy rolled her eyes. "I suppose I should help." She eyed his frumpy clothes. "You don't really rate high in the fashion guide. You got something in mind?"

"Jeans." Connor said with a shrug. "Maybe black slacks. I was thinking a black button-down. Salome likes me in black."

Mandy nodded. "All right... Sounds borderline sexy." She smiled mischievously. "Do you know what would be really hot?"

"Hey, Connor..." Mandy's smile grew. "If you do that, can I send picture to Angel so your daddy can see how you're dressing like him?"

"Oh come on!" Mandy laughed. "You can spike your hair up... You'll look so great."

"I'm having a good day," Connor said flatly. "Don't mess it up. Or else I'll tell Salome you're helping me dress."

Mandy looked unimpressed. "Well, she knows I don't have a thing for you anymore."

"Actually." Connor shrugged. "I haven't told her that yet. She still thinks you're hot for me." He ran off towards the stairs.

"What?" Mandy screamed. She ran to the bottom of the stairs, looking up at the retreating form. "What do you mean you haven't told her yet?"

"They're silver in the book!" Mandy turned, scowling. "You know, I hope she does eat your head!"

Jamie pushed back the hood of his cloak. He swerved to avoid a kid wearing a cape and vampire fangs. He shook his head as the kid ran off, waving a flashlight. "If only you knew, kid..." Jamie muttered.

Andrew caught up to Jamie. "Okay... Here I am." Andrew tugged up his sagging pants. "So are we going home first or are we going right to Caritas?"

"Home," Jamie said firmly. He eyed Andrew. "You need to change before we go to a bar."

"But it's my costume!" Andrew protested. He tugged at his shirt. "I'm Spider-Man! You said it was cool!"

"It's fine at the store ," Jamie stressed. "But don't we want to look cool at the bar? The bar where there are women?"

"It's a bar with lots of demons." Andrew smiled. "Don't you have an easy enough time attracting demons?"

"Hey." Andrew gave Jamie a smack on the shoulder. "I have a fedora and bullwhip at home."

Jamie thought about it for a moment. He then nodded. "Okay. That's cool." He frowned. "Actually, that's really cool." He looked over Andrew again. "So why have you been wearing your pyjamas all day?"

There was a blinding flash of light and a crack appeared in the air. Andrew and Jamie were both thrown back violently.

The pair remained stationary for a moment. Then, groaning, Andrew pulled himself back up. "That was weird..." He crawled over to Jamie. "Jay?" Andrew pulled back the hood of Jamie's costume. "Are you all right?"

He didn't notice the glowing, translucent slug creature inching towards the sewer.